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Individual Therapy

This is my bread and butter!

There’s this synergy that happens between two people when there are no distractions, no complicated dynamics between multiple people, and a sense of true safety and calm tucked away in a cozy private office. When else in our chaotic and pressurized days do we get to slow down, be present, and really tune into ourselves and our being?

Never, that’s when.

Individual therapy is a place to take our time and build a trust and honesty that feel safe. Together, we can sew shut the wounds of your past and present, and begin building a life where you get to choose exactly what you need to really ignite the flame of your true self.

Feeling dissatisfied with life?

We would be a great fit for each other.

Dissatisfaction can appear in relationships: Your partner isn’t giving you what you need: they’re not doing their fair share of work, they don’t give you the validation you need, they don’t consider you when making choices, they don’t pay attention.

Your friends don’t make you feel good about yourself. Your boss is a jerk, and you feel overworked, mistreated, and taken advantage of.

Your kids don’t respect you. Your mom drives you insane with her criticism or calling you all the time or just needing you too much.

Dissatisfaction can appear in your alone time: Being alone feels scary, and you’ll do anything you can to avoid it. This constant activity, however, leaves you feeling exhausted and emotionally strung out.

When you’re alone, it’s almost impossible to tolerate if you don’t have an alcoholic beverage or some pot. This one we usually deny or pretend isn’t happening… but really think about it. Do you make tons of plans or say yes to all invitations, because being alone is scary?

Dissatisfaction can appear in moments of reflection: “What’s the point?” “Is this what life is just going to be like from now on?” “I wish I could just move to Bali and leave it all behind…” are the kinds of things you think to yourself, but you quickly brush away those thoughts and get back to being overly busy.

Dissatisfaction can appear when you make choices for yourself: When a friend asks if you want to go out on Thursday night, part of you says you’re too damn tired, but another part says, “That’ll be fun, and I won’t be alone”  – and that second part always wins. Plus, your friend may be upset with you if you say no, and it’s too scary to think they might not want to be your friend anymore.

Now it’s Friday, you’re exhausted, and you wish you had stayed in to rest.

Or you’re feeling like you’ve eaten poorly all weekend and need to eat clean this week, but your friend asks if you want to go to a greasy burger joint for lunch and you say, “Yes.” Now it’s post-lunch, and you’re at work feeling gross and disappointed with yourself.

Or your partner comes home after work and says they’re too tired to cook and can you please just do it even though they said they’d do it tonight… and you say “sure,” but inside you’re feeling resentful and so very tired yourself.

You just don’t feel like you have control, and you don’t trust yourself to make decisions that are truly best for you.

Dissatisfaction can appear in all these facets of life and so many more.

Every day feels like a gamble…

… you never know how you’ll feel at the end of the day, because how you’ll feel will depend on how your interactions with other people go, and how much you perceive others are actually considering you and your feelings.

Maybe some days the people around you are so tuned in and thoughtful, you feel like a queen. But maybe most days they’re focused on themselves, and you feel small and unimportant.

If any of this resonates, or you feel dissatisfied in another area of life I haven’t mentioned, it’s probably worth calling me to see how I can help.

So… what the heck do we actually DO in therapy?

Alright, alright… I get it: Enough of the amorphous overview…

Here’s what we might talk about and/or work on…

Being a Woman

What is it like to be a woman in your world? Who or what in your life has made a big impact on the way you believe women “should” be in the world? This is a great place to start, so you can learn to stop “shoulding on yourself” and, instead, feel steady in your own idea of what your womanhood is.

Maybe you really do align with the way you’ve been told you should be. Or maybe you’re like, “I’m sick of trying to fit into dresses and high heels… give me some combat boots and camo print!”

Or you might be experiencing some other kind of discord. It’s all gravy with me, and I can’t wait to find out what this looks like for you and explore who you are and who you want to be, so you can feel satisfied.

Boundaries

This is a fun one and can be huge in helping us learn to feel safe, trust ourselves, and find out whom else we can trust.

Generally speaking, women are taught that everyone ELSE comes first, and we come last. We were placed on this planet to serve! We are mothers and caregivers, and our values lie solely in how well we can run entire families, teams of people, etc. etc. etc. singlehandedly! And you’re a selfish woman if you say “no”!

Bullshit. Yes, I said, “bullshit.” Defining new boundaries is one of our most important tools we have to care for ourselves and satisfy our own needs. And it’s not selfish, wrong, weird, or whatever else anyone might lead you to believe. You deserve to feel satisfied.

I have so much more to say about this, but I will spare you and wait until we meet in person.

Belief Systems

You might notice that a lot of these themes overlap (that’s the entire idea). Belief systems are the subconscious foundations from which we make judgments about our world and ourselves. Hold on… that was a lot of jargon. Said another way, belief systems are the road maps in our minds that point us toward the ways we feel about the outer world and ourselves. They’re automatic.

We don’t really think about those road maps when we’re just living our lives. They just kind of direct traffic, and we don’t have to worry about it.

But sometimes these road maps are pointing us in a direction that causes us undue pain and discomfort – for example, believing that our value as women lies solely in our ability to give of ourselves. That’s an automatic thing that we just enact in our lives without stopping to think about it. And it leads to a feeling of having an “empty tank,” being “strung out,” feeling “dissatisfied.”

So… what if we did stop to think about it? What if we took out an eraser and drew new roadways to a more balanced perspective and healthier life? You tell me, sister.

Body Reactions

This is a fun one. We often think of our brains as the one and only center of intelligence in the body. If we have a question, we find the answer using our brains. If we need to find out how we feel about something, we must THINK to figure it out. Oh, how wrong we have been.

Our bodies are an incredible source of information about how we are doing. Our bodies hold memories within each cell, and those little memories react to things SO much faster than our conscious minds do.

I’ll give you an example: You’re in the bathroom brushing your teeth to get ready for bed, and you didn’t hear your partner walk into the attached bedroom. You’re just standing there, kind of zoned out, brushing away, when your partner says something; and you jump a foot into the air, because you had no idea they were there – and it scared the crap out of you.

It takes you a moment to register that the noise was your person, and then you start to calm down. But you can hear your heart beating in your ears… you’ve stopped breathing, your eyes widened, and your muscles tensed. Your body knew immediately that there could have been a threat and responded faster than your brain ever could have.

Our bodies have a lot to tell us. Let’s find out what yours is trying to tell you.

Spirituality

We will start every session by reading a Bible verse. JUST KIDDING. Got your attention though, huh?

Exploring spirituality (religious or otherwise) is a totally optional element of our time together. If this is totally unappealing and not part of your journey… great, we won’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.

If you’re wondering how spirituality plays a role in my life. I am not “religious.” I don’t subscribe to any religion. For me, spirituality is about intuition, connection, love, oneness, and gratitude.

But if spirituality is something you would like to incorporate, no matter how big or small a role it plays in your life, I am absolutely here for that to be a part of how we work together.

Relationships

We don’t live in a world of utter isolation. Even if you’re the most introverted introvert in the world, there are moments where you’re interacting with other people… including in a therapy session.

Relationships with others are where we can find so much information about our beliefs, our boundaries, our identities, and a whole host of other juicy stuff about ourselves.

Self-Investment

I don’t know about you, but I’m rather tired of hearing about “self-care.”

Everyone is just jabbering away on every platform about what kind of self-care you “should” be doing and how often you “should” be doing it… blah, blah, blah. Let’s just hit the mute button on all of those Refinery29, Buzzfeed, The Cut, articles etc.

Self-investment isn’t one-size-fits-all, so let’s figure out what you truly need to nourish your mind, body, and soul; so you can TRUST that you can SATISFY your own needs.

Wouldn’t it be incredible to feel like you are in control of your own well-being, and your satisfaction and emotions are no longer dependent upon others??

When you’re ready, I’m here for you…

Whew! Now you have a little more of an idea of what individual therapy looks like.

But there may be something that I didn’t have the time to talk about here. So, if you’re thinking, “CRAP! She doesn’t do the one thing I need her to be able to do!”… PLEASE call me to ask about it.

As I’m sure you can imagine, a single website page is a limited source of information, and I’d love to talk about anything else you’re interested in learning about.

Let’s get started on you today… give me a call: (720) 432-3842.